I have birthed the spiritual crisis I was meant to have.

The promise of a pending love quickly came back to me and my mind became sorrowful. I felt like a small bird being tortured by the smoke of a chimney that I thought would keep me warm after a long day’s flight.

I am realizing now that my soul is malnourished by the human. It is not about love at all. It’s been the soul, the spirit all along! I did not know this. I was deeply unaware of my unhappiness. About my depression.

He is offering me love. He is a different human now but I cannot welcome him as I thought. I feel ashamed. I am certain he is becoming aware. He keeps on talking and talking and it is meaningless to me, it simply does not bloom inside of me.

I am telling myself that I will end up alone again. Alone in this deserted Earth. Agonizingly alone. Realizing that a partner is not what I was yearning for. The tears are warming me up. Accompanying me.

I am headed to a temple that is calling me and none of those I know are there. It belongs to the new earth.

I bury the dead.

As we talked, I was thinking of the women I could become. None are happy. None are happy. I realize this as you speak of Jesus, and I say that I understand.

I am headed to the temple.

I bury the dead.